The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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