Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
