the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
