dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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