By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
