at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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