I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
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I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
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