We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
