This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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