Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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