I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
