escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you would pick up someone in the library
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
