I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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