Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
