Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
