So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
