Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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