i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
