Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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