the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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