Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
