i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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