so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
