you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm always down for nudity.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
