My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
