ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
