i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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