I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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