The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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