i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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