You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
