I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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