I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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