508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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