I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
