Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
