I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
