Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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