Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
