There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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