why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
