Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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