Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
