tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As shirtless as possible
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize