I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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