I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
