Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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