You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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