Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
