I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
are you so shy because you have an std?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
