For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
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I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
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Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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