u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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