why didn't you poke me back
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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