Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
