escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
