Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
