She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
