weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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