the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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