R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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